I cant sleep ):
haiss...
Actually today quarreled with baby again in the afternoon ):
Due to some stuff & I'm at fault
but i hate it when u all so called "sweet talk"
like what bunnie here and there
kill here kill there
you never know how i feel leh ):
Its very sad de okay
hais I'm just afraid that u will just leave me one fine day
like that day, you suddenly don't wan me because of her.
Today when u told me that you don't trust me/
If I'm not happy i can just leave & find another bf/
i was irritating and when u say i treated u like my dog!
Do you know out of everything i have
i always put you the
FIRST
In terms of family,friends,studies & work
you should know that yourself!
ask my friends & family if you dunno..
If you say i treat u like my dog than what am i to you
more worse than a dog i can say
& i didn't complain cos i know love is suppose to be like this
working hard & giving happiness to your other half
hais you totally smashed my heart into many many pieces today
No matter how angry you are
please think before you say anything
cos it still hurts although we are okay already
Its not easy to forget what you told me this afternoon
I know I'm at the wrong to check on you
& today was the only day i check cos previous days
i was working & you were at home how to check?
and you didn't believe me
but have u ever thought why i will do that?
because i feel that its not over between the both of you yet.
I feel that you anytime can just turn to her
I do trust you but not completely
i admit that & its
because you haven even gain back my trust
since the last incident
You didn't put in any effort that's why i told you
i need more of your love and care.
You always say you love me
but when we quarrel
you turn into a devil
a real real cunning one
till i don't have a stand in your heart.
you say i was unreasonable this few days
its because I'm not feeling right
and I'm moody but i refuse to admit it.
hais thinking back what u have told me and what u put on msn nick
"Unreasonable,Hypocrite, doubts"
it really really cracked my heart once again
especially the sentence when you say
" I cannot say my other friends meh or my another girlfriend"
I can tell you i really cried hardly while i was replying to you.
After your last msg saying that you don't need me to fetch you
and dont wanna repeat it again & you dont wish to see me in your room now or later.
after that msg you refuse to reply to my msges
and appeared offline so i took this time to cool myself down
Although u treat me very harshly but
i still went out to sengkang to buy your favorite
soya bean with pearls & old changi
that i promise to buy for you to eat when i go fetch you today
I just want to let you know that
no matter how harsh or bad u treat me
you will still be placed as my NO.1 in my heart,
i know your games & friends
are more important compared to me
but what can i do?
Its your decision & i have to respect it
i dont wanna force you anymore
eg.change same nick as me so like sweet sweet tgt
go out for romantic nights
and more
im tired really really tired
being the only one who is willinly to work hard for this relationship
I just wanna have a happy & peaceful relationship
with you only & no third parties interfering.
For now, i just wanna drown myself with work in order
not to anyhow think & i think this is the last solution for me
&
I also hope i wont neglect you at the same time
last but not least
I TRULY LOVE YOU ALOT
{ If you dont believe i cant do anything }
SHEELA (: 3:45 AM
