I love night life (:
MinMin((:
Cherrie((:
Joey(:
Nathalie(:
Cyn((:
Bevin(:
Delphine(:
YiFang(:
Estee(:
Eileen(:
Suyi(:
Sylvia(:
Shiyun(:
.Sunday, May 31, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
when will you wake up
i didnt know what your msn nick means
maybe its not about me that why i cant figure out
yesterday night i went to east coast with my cousin
and scream my lungs out and cried like hell
but things are still the same
i thought it wont hurt so much but its still hurting me badly.
what can i do to get you back?
can you tell me please.
Im falling already
SHEELA (: 11:46 AM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
No matter how hard i try
i still get the same old reaction from you
one word ignore.
I dunno why I'm so stubborn
even you ignore me I'm still trying so damm hard.
its not easy giving up.
you experienced it before.
i still get the same old reaction from you
one word ignore.
I dunno why I'm so stubborn
even you ignore me I'm still trying so damm hard.
its not easy giving up.
you experienced it before.
SHEELA (: 1:25 AM
.Saturday, May 30, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Should i or should i not?
I wont be working at 1st floor anymore :(
sad i cant see ah fang already
i will be working at 2nd floor instead because they have not enough people
and I tell you is fucking boring.
I was about to fall asleep, so tried to dig for things to read
so borrowed from sindy her Mr Midnight
spent few hours reading it and finally to the last page (:
hahaha by that time it was 9pm already
so left another 1 hour and i was like finally! woo~
so sit around did some drawing on tissue paper
and took some pictures (:
After work cab down to mc nair to meet nathalie
dayuan & jiaxing was there sit for less than
5 mins than me and nathalie went to find sam
took many crazy photos with nathalie
was abit high at that time screaming and singing song so loudly
then when i was on my way home my mood totally change
back to the normal me, super no mood
dunno why i can change my mood so quickly.
today i didn't msg him at all, while i was working i really wanted to
but i kept thinking better don't luh later he think i irritating
than i just throw my phone back to the drawer
and continue reading my story book.
lol im proud of myself loh! hahaha
but i have one bad point that i have to change
i gotta start eating my meals regularly.
Since that day, everyday i only eat less than a meal
not even half a meal because i totally have no appetite
i only drank water or sometimes never at all.
I'm starting to eat lesser and lesser
i dunno how man.
I'm getting skinnier and skinner :(
maybe i will only regain my appetite when everything is back to normal ba.
bye people! (:
imissyou
-waiting-
sad i cant see ah fang already
i will be working at 2nd floor instead because they have not enough people
and I tell you is fucking boring.
I was about to fall asleep, so tried to dig for things to read
so borrowed from sindy her Mr Midnight
spent few hours reading it and finally to the last page (: hahaha by that time it was 9pm already
so left another 1 hour and i was like finally! woo~
so sit around did some drawing on tissue paper
and took some pictures (:
After work cab down to mc nair to meet nathaliedayuan & jiaxing was there sit for less than
5 mins than me and nathalie went to find sam
took many crazy photos with nathalie
was abit high at that time screaming and singing song so loudlythen when i was on my way home my mood totally change
back to the normal me, super no mood
dunno why i can change my mood so quickly.
today i didn't msg him at all, while i was working i really wanted to
but i kept thinking better don't luh later he think i irritating
than i just throw my phone back to the drawer
and continue reading my story book.
lol im proud of myself loh! hahaha
but i have one bad point that i have to change
i gotta start eating my meals regularly.
Since that day, everyday i only eat less than a meal
not even half a meal because i totally have no appetite
i only drank water or sometimes never at all.
I'm starting to eat lesser and lesser
i dunno how man.
I'm getting skinnier and skinner :(
maybe i will only regain my appetite when everything is back to normal ba.
bye people! (:
imissyou
-waiting-
SHEELA (: 11:54 PM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Swollen Eyes
Morning everyone, im feeling very tired now
and my eyes are all swollen
because of yesterday i cried like hell
& all the memories flew back,
was typing my yesterday blog post and crying at the same time
and my heart was aching very badly
Today morning when i woke up
i had that feeling of losing a person again
and the feeling really sucks.
I really wanted to take my phone & send him a msg
but thank goodness i controlled myself
I may look strong on the outside
but i am really weak in the inside :(
sigh i really miss him very much i dunno why.
I am scared, scared he have other girls
but i know its not her anymore.
sigh i really dunno what else to do to get you back.
I cant message you
cant call you
cant see you
cant talk to you
because its irritating to you
i am trying my very best to hide away from you
i will not let you see me anymore.
i will not message you anymore
i will not call you anymore.
maybe you dont wanna msg me its because you want face?
i have already lose face in front of your friends
when you show them the messages i send you.
what is face to me now? nothing.
sigh okay enough of saying i gotta go and prepare
for work already and im really feeling very tired
feel like sleeping and dont wake up.
bye people. :(
imwaitingforyourveryfirstmessage.
Morning everyone, im feeling very tired now
and my eyes are all swollen
because of yesterday i cried like hell
& all the memories flew back,
was typing my yesterday blog post and crying at the same time
and my heart was aching very badly
Today morning when i woke up
i had that feeling of losing a person again
and the feeling really sucks.
I really wanted to take my phone & send him a msg
but thank goodness i controlled myself
I may look strong on the outside
but i am really weak in the inside :(
sigh i really miss him very much i dunno why.
I am scared, scared he have other girls
but i know its not her anymore.
sigh i really dunno what else to do to get you back.
I cant message you
cant call you
cant see you
cant talk to you
because its irritating to you
i am trying my very best to hide away from you
i will not let you see me anymore.
i will not message you anymore
i will not call you anymore.
maybe you dont wanna msg me its because you want face?
i have already lose face in front of your friends
when you show them the messages i send you.
what is face to me now? nothing.
sigh okay enough of saying i gotta go and prepare
for work already and im really feeling very tired
feel like sleeping and dont wake up.
bye people. :(
imwaitingforyourveryfirstmessage.
SHEELA (: 10:58 AM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Fullstop
Today meet up with nathalie and went over to jiaxing house
to find my pumpkin boy (:
I don't wanna drift away from my baby pumpkin
so i have to visit him whether im free a not.
When i reach i saw him, he and his bolster.
hugging his bolster walking around lol no shame.
played with pumpkin while than headed to st gorge to wake sam up.
than went to ps to eat just asia & i only ate a chawamushi.
and it makes me remind of him the pictures at the btm
are from nathalie's camera.
she cant send me so i have to use my photo to capture the picture
i was laughing and thinking back about the memoriess we had.
There was one time when we ate 6 cups of chawamushi together
and another incident was you went to combine the table tgt and ciap until my finger
and i started making noise than you help me to rub my finger :(
*imcryingrightnow*
after eating i went to the toilet and saw this brownie shop
and it can customise the brownie so cute
so went to toilet and walk back and told nathalie
and i was really keen to buy it so went with nathalie to buy it
i bought it for him and she bought it for sam
i didn't know if he liked brownie so asked nathalie to call him
and ask but he said he don't like to eat anything
but still i just buy it & i customised mine as
I LUV CJX
happily holding it thinking how to pass it to him
and i was grumbling to nathalie that he wont eat and all
i think he will throw it into the bin and so on.
sorry nathalie make your ear so painful :(
cabbed down to bugis for work
than meet up with yun and slack at iluma arcarde smoking area
its so windy and nice
we were talking heart to heart talk
about relationship things nathalie was there too (:
chat and hear my some music
talk till my eyes went watery and tears started rolling
and i started missing him so i msg him
but there was no replies.
After chatting for hours decided to go and take a walk
than i tap shiyun's hand
and threw the brownie into the bin.
and walk off i was feeling kind of sad but i know
he will definitely not eat it and throw it away.
so just nevermind sigh
walk half way suddenly he called yun asking where is she
than meet him at the bus stop and walked back to lavender
and took train home.
some pictures taken from nathalie's camera :(
im crying right now i dunno why.
thinking back i really miss those times with you.
you told me you had something to tell me
than you scream into my ears
and i bite you
and than you gave kuku face and i sayang for you
Than you kiss my face and got your saliver
the paper sweet i bought.
2nd shot
The very first daring kiss infront of the camera
The very last picture taken with you
I miss those times disturbing you when you are sleeping :(
i know you are very happy right now
but seriously everytime i see the photos taken with you
i really wish to go back to you and hug you tightly
but everything just ended so suddenly.
I cried at the bus-stop that day because
i had a feeling that i was about to lose you already
you hugged me and kiss me at my lips before i left
and in the end we broke off in the night
everything is too sudden for me that i keep irritating you
with my msges and you didnt reply me
i felt so lonely and all thanks to my friends
who accompanied me (:
I love you girls
I miss those memories i had with you
today will be the very last day im gonna see you
because im gonna start working everyday.
I know you are happy that you wont get to see me anymore.
but i guess i will just wait and see how things go.
you can turn to me if you need me.
i will wait for your very first message
and wait for your return
i wont irritate you anymore
I love you always
takecare
*imbreakingdownallalone*
when will you come back?
i dont want you to forget me because
ineedyou
Today meet up with nathalie and went over to jiaxing house
to find my pumpkin boy (:
I don't wanna drift away from my baby pumpkin
so i have to visit him whether im free a not.
When i reach i saw him, he and his bolster.
hugging his bolster walking around lol no shame.
played with pumpkin while than headed to st gorge to wake sam up.
than went to ps to eat just asia & i only ate a chawamushi.
and it makes me remind of him the pictures at the btm
are from nathalie's camera.
she cant send me so i have to use my photo to capture the picture
i was laughing and thinking back about the memoriess we had.
There was one time when we ate 6 cups of chawamushi together
and another incident was you went to combine the table tgt and ciap until my finger
and i started making noise than you help me to rub my finger :(
*imcryingrightnow*
after eating i went to the toilet and saw this brownie shopand it can customise the brownie so cute
so went to toilet and walk back and told nathalie
and i was really keen to buy it so went with nathalie to buy it
i bought it for him and she bought it for sam
i didn't know if he liked brownie so asked nathalie to call him
and ask but he said he don't like to eat anything
but still i just buy it & i customised mine as
I LUV CJX
happily holding it thinking how to pass it to himand i was grumbling to nathalie that he wont eat and all
i think he will throw it into the bin and so on.
sorry nathalie make your ear so painful :(
cabbed down to bugis for work
than meet up with yun and slack at iluma arcarde smoking area
its so windy and nice
we were talking heart to heart talk
about relationship things nathalie was there too (:
chat and hear my some music
talk till my eyes went watery and tears started rolling
and i started missing him so i msg him
but there was no replies.
After chatting for hours decided to go and take a walk
than i tap shiyun's hand
and threw the brownie into the bin.
and walk off i was feeling kind of sad but i know
he will definitely not eat it and throw it away.
so just nevermind sigh
walk half way suddenly he called yun asking where is she
than meet him at the bus stop and walked back to lavender
and took train home.
some pictures taken from nathalie's camera :(
im crying right now i dunno why.
thinking back i really miss those times with you.
you told me you had something to tell me
than you scream into my ears
and i bite you
and than you gave kuku face and i sayang for you
Than you kiss my face and got your saliver
the paper sweet i bought.
2nd shot
The very first daring kiss infront of the camera
The very last picture taken with you
I miss those times disturbing you when you are sleeping :(i know you are very happy right now
but seriously everytime i see the photos taken with you
i really wish to go back to you and hug you tightly
but everything just ended so suddenly.
I cried at the bus-stop that day because
i had a feeling that i was about to lose you already
you hugged me and kiss me at my lips before i left
and in the end we broke off in the night
everything is too sudden for me that i keep irritating you
with my msges and you didnt reply me
i felt so lonely and all thanks to my friends
who accompanied me (:
I love you girls
I miss those memories i had with you
today will be the very last day im gonna see you
because im gonna start working everyday.
I know you are happy that you wont get to see me anymore.
but i guess i will just wait and see how things go.
you can turn to me if you need me.
i will wait for your very first message
and wait for your return
i wont irritate you anymore
I love you always
takecare
*imbreakingdownallalone*
when will you come back?
i dont want you to forget me because
ineedyou
SHEELA (: 12:10 AM
.Friday, May 29, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
When i have troubles
i only think of you and i wanna share with you
but where are you?
who else can i turn to?
i only think of you and i wanna share with you
but where are you?
who else can i turn to?
SHEELA (: 2:16 AM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
H A P P Y (:
Today had N level home-econs cooking testhaha i didnt do my dishes seriously
i was like anyhow doing it hee :D
as long as it looks nice okay already hahaha
After school went to gwenda's house to shower than headed to iluma
walkwalk and play anw thanks girl :D
Meet up with the rest Than went for sheesha at haji lane
with Joey,Shiyun,Tyson,Ronald, Dayuan & Des
than jiaxing joined us abit later, slacked awhile
than home sweet home (:
If you love me, you will come back to me
no point smsing you and no replies
when i have been trying real hard this few days
cracking my head and finding ideas of how to get you back
lol if you're mine, you're mine
if you still love me i dont believe you wont even reply my messages
or even sms me on your willing side
but you never so that mean dont love me le loh
love or no love you yourself know can already luh (:
I shall not irritate you with my sms anymore.
Im using the word anymore because im pissed off with you
you said i was irritating cos i message you every night to your friends
and show them what i send you.
i was like what the hell?
please show some respect will you.
Im sending sms to you not an advertisement for you
to publish to your friends okay
since im irritating than fine loh
i wont sms you anymore
you're just taking me for advantage
because you know i still love you and im waiting for you and so on.
one day you will know that your thinking is really wrong
because you're so damm selfish.
Im here waiting for you and there you are fooling around
and worse to worse
last time when you waited for me i did reply your msg,
sms you on my willing side,
care for you & talk to you
than what about you?
you dont even care about me
you dont even to bother to sms me as a friend
dont even bother to talk to me as a friend
dont say talk, you dont even bother to reply my messages.
LOLOLOLOL
when i saw you just now at sheesha
my feeling for you totally went down, i dunno why.
but i believe i still love you.
Maybe after seeing this post you will message me?
lol sheela stop dreaming, if he msg you pigs can fly.
maybe if you still love me, you will msg me ba
no matter how much i say how much i do.
In the end you are the one who decides everything
i have already changed, i know what you need and what you want.
if you are willing to give our relationship a second chance
than just sms me ba (:
*knowing you for so long
even if you love me you also wont sms me and
i spent so many nights doing a video for you.
smsed you to go online for so many days already
& you didnt even bother.wth*
SHEELA (: 1:15 AM
.Thursday, May 28, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Sixth Day
(I'm Waiting For You)
Today woke up and went to meet nathalie cos
i planned something but everything failed so yupp have to accept
it and i was late for work due to the plan :(
Never mind luh for him everything also okie.
To him:
Anyways so sorry to let you get nagging & scoldings from your parents
i really feel very very very bad. I'm sorry.
So left from his house with nathalie
and went to meet sam & guan hao than went to st gorge blk 3 to eat
cos kfc & mac were all so crowded so went to blk 3 & i saw him.
lol i didn't even know he was there till i saw his face while i was day dreaming
lol hell luh? i was like omg i scared he thinks that im following
everywhere he go but i wasn't. I really didn't know he was there :x
but never mind luh i think he didn't saw me (:
As promised yesterday to myself i cannot touch my hp
or else i will msg him but today something happened so i had no choice
to ask him for help anyways thanks cjx (:
haha and before asking him for around half an hour before
i msg him that i miss him than after that yun told me something
i immediately call him and i was like omg
i send him i miss him than i call him ask for help lol
super paiseh. :/
lol after that went to golden mile
shall not say much already
Fullstop.
我知道
从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过
曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流
Im really happy that you reply my message
but in another hand i message something like goodluck to him & her
and i will still be waiting for him
and his reply was
okay.dont need to wait for me.
we can still be friends.
i was like so you replying me because of her?
meaning i say goodluck ma than he reply me
like normal messages i send him, he also no reply.
lol three question marks.
After sending one message than he never reply anymore.
see! nevermind im used to it le
but still i will wait for him, i believe im strong enough (:
and i will prove to him that i've change for him
change to someone who dosent need to meet her bf everyday and
give him the freedom he needs if he can limit himself
and i will be fine in everything as long as we are happy (:
reminders to myself I really gotta stop my itchy hands from touching my phone!
grrrrrr! :/
Add ons:
Today woke up and went to meet nathalie cos
i planned something but everything failed so yupp have to accept
it and i was late for work due to the plan :(
Never mind luh for him everything also okie.
To him:
Anyways so sorry to let you get nagging & scoldings from your parents
i really feel very very very bad. I'm sorry.
So left from his house with nathalie
and went to meet sam & guan hao than went to st gorge blk 3 to eat
cos kfc & mac were all so crowded so went to blk 3 & i saw him.
lol i didn't even know he was there till i saw his face while i was day dreaming
lol hell luh? i was like omg i scared he thinks that im following
everywhere he go but i wasn't. I really didn't know he was there :x
but never mind luh i think he didn't saw me (:
As promised yesterday to myself i cannot touch my hp
or else i will msg him but today something happened so i had no choice
to ask him for help anyways thanks cjx (:
haha and before asking him for around half an hour before
i msg him that i miss him than after that yun told me something
i immediately call him and i was like omg
i send him i miss him than i call him ask for help lol
super paiseh. :/
lol after that went to golden mile
shall not say much already
Fullstop.
我知道
从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过
曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流
Im really happy that you reply my message
but in another hand i message something like goodluck to him & her
and i will still be waiting for him
and his reply was
okay.dont need to wait for me.
we can still be friends.
i was like so you replying me because of her?
meaning i say goodluck ma than he reply me
like normal messages i send him, he also no reply.
lol three question marks.
After sending one message than he never reply anymore.
see! nevermind im used to it le
but still i will wait for him, i believe im strong enough (:
and i will prove to him that i've change for him
change to someone who dosent need to meet her bf everyday and
give him the freedom he needs if he can limit himself
and i will be fine in everything as long as we are happy (:
reminders to myself I really gotta stop my itchy hands from touching my phone!
grrrrrr! :/
Add ons:
The picture at the top looks so natural & its my hp wallpaper (:
ahahha
ahahha
SHEELA (: 12:02 AM
.Tuesday, May 26, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Fifth Day
Your Thinking
( Is Fate That We Part? You're Wrong! )
Today had English oral
and i think i didn't do well because i dunno what to say
at that time my mood wasn't right.
I was feeling irritated because i gotta wait for so long till my turn :(
After English oral went to canteen to slack slack
and waited for Tyson & Ronald to come and meet us
than headed to his house to play with pumpkin.
Luckily he wasn't at home. chill~
or when i see him i will have another heartache.
shall stop here for today cos I'm tired :(
Tomorrow is the day that i gotta stop my itchy hands
from touching my phone or i will start smsing him
when i know i wont receive any of his replies
so i gotta
CONTROLCONTROLCONTROL
Fate is in our own hands and to have fate you need effort :D
you can go on flirting now its okay you happy can le
I'm still waiting.
Action speaks louder than words
I'm proud of myself
Sheela is a strong girl (((((:
( Is Fate That We Part? You're Wrong! )
Today had English oraland i think i didn't do well because i dunno what to say
at that time my mood wasn't right.
I was feeling irritated because i gotta wait for so long till my turn :(
After English oral went to canteen to slack slack
and waited for Tyson & Ronald to come and meet us
than headed to his house to play with pumpkin.
Luckily he wasn't at home. chill~
or when i see him i will have another heartache.
shall stop here for today cos I'm tired :(
Tomorrow is the day that i gotta stop my itchy hands
from touching my phone or i will start smsing him
when i know i wont receive any of his replies
so i gotta
CONTROLCONTROLCONTROL
Fate is in our own hands and to have fate you need effort :D
you can go on flirting now its okay you happy can le
I'm still waiting.
Action speaks louder than words
I'm proud of myself
Sheela is a strong girl (((((:
SHEELA (: 11:38 PM
.Monday, May 25, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Fourth day
( I know everything already )
I will keep on waiting
I will keep on waiting SHEELA (: 11:21 PM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
I know you need freedom.
I will give it to you as long as you limit yourself
I know you like your lifestyle now but i dont like cos i want you back :(
sigh what else can i do to get you back?
SHEELA (: 12:05 AM
.Sunday, May 24, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Third day
- his msn nick -
"I have already decided my chioce, and i will not turn back"
Today meet up with desmond at KFC bus stop walked to Mcnair
and went up to his house to get pumpkin he wasnt awake at that time.
so took pumpkin down and play with him after awhile
dayuan joined us played with pumpkin and it was time that i have to go
and was suppose to meet up with JOJO & HAHA for interview
but they were still asleep so didnt go.
then all of us went up to his house and slack awhile while
waiting for yuanlin to come before we head to bugis for another interview.
dayuan,yuanlin,des & i took cab down to bugis
des went home and the rest of us went for the interview only me & yuanlin.
dayuan waited at one side so yupp i will be working tomorrow. confirmed already.
yuanlin will be working next week.
after interview he joined us and we went to iluma>ps>lavender>home.
Just now when we were at ps walking to the bus stop
dayuan & yuan lin was walking in front hugging each other
and behind was me & him than he was actually beside me
and i quickly step back lol i dunno why i became so timid.
sigh even if your msn nick says you have already decided your choice
and will never turn back but you think all this can make me give up meh?
have you ever heard of some saying?
"every setback makes us stronger"
meaning no matter how much hurt i get, it will make me stronger.
No matter what happen, I will always be there for you
If we love each other, everything can be solved.
I believe we can solve everything as long as we talk things out
but i know for now your thinking is you will not turn back anymore
but you cant tell things so fast when we just broke up for 3 days.
I remembered something like you told me
you need sometime since we together like so hard.
my reply to you is :
if we talk things out make our promises to each other
and don't break it i think everything will be fine.
even if you wanna go clubbing with your friends i also let
as long as you tell me the truth don't lie to me can le
everything begins with the word trust
but like i say just now you now only think of not turning back
and wanting me to give up and forget you don't you think you're selfish?
giving up is your choice not mine.
I will still hold onto this relationship because i believe i can do it.
even if you tell your friends you don't love me le
its okay. you yourself know whether you love me anot.
Remember i asked you a question
what if one day you break with me how?
you said : than you must not let me break loh must keep giving in
i said : i said don't want at first
cos to make him but in the end i said okay
and i told him when i say break you also must give in okay
you said : okay with a smile
sigh... zzZ
everywhere i go make me remind of you.
When i exit from the mrt station i saw the bumper car
and it reminds me of what you told me.
you said you wanna play and ask me to be careful cos you & dayuan
will keep banging me but till now we haven play lol.
whenever i walk to iluma arcade
i will remember those happy times when we play the street fighter game
sometime you win sometimes i win.
every time you win other people i will kiss you on your cheek.
we also played the mario car game
and i always end up the last one cos you and dayuan always win.
I miss holding you at your arms.
You seem to change alot now i dunno why
if you have the thinking of not turning back what more after June holidays?
sigh im just afraid of everything :(
Every time when i receive a message i will hurry hurry open it &
was hoping it will be you but every time it turn out to be other people
sigh i really wanna put up a strong face in front of you
and showing you that i have already given up but i cant
why is it so hard?
i dunno what else i can do already.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Listen
(Beyonce)
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....
[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...
[Chorus]
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....
LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...
"I have already decided my chioce, and i will not turn back"
Today meet up with desmond at KFC bus stop walked to Mcnairand went up to his house to get pumpkin he wasnt awake at that time.
so took pumpkin down and play with him after awhile
dayuan joined us played with pumpkin and it was time that i have to go
and was suppose to meet up with JOJO & HAHA for interview
but they were still asleep so didnt go.
then all of us went up to his house and slack awhile while
waiting for yuanlin to come before we head to bugis for another interview.
dayuan,yuanlin,des & i took cab down to bugis
des went home and the rest of us went for the interview only me & yuanlin.
dayuan waited at one side so yupp i will be working tomorrow. confirmed already.
yuanlin will be working next week.
after interview he joined us and we went to iluma>ps>lavender>home.
Just now when we were at ps walking to the bus stop
dayuan & yuan lin was walking in front hugging each other
and behind was me & him than he was actually beside me
and i quickly step back lol i dunno why i became so timid.
sigh even if your msn nick says you have already decided your choice
and will never turn back but you think all this can make me give up meh?
have you ever heard of some saying?
"every setback makes us stronger"
meaning no matter how much hurt i get, it will make me stronger.
No matter what happen, I will always be there for you
If we love each other, everything can be solved.
I believe we can solve everything as long as we talk things out
but i know for now your thinking is you will not turn back anymore
but you cant tell things so fast when we just broke up for 3 days.
I remembered something like you told me
you need sometime since we together like so hard.
my reply to you is :
if we talk things out make our promises to each other
and don't break it i think everything will be fine.
even if you wanna go clubbing with your friends i also let
as long as you tell me the truth don't lie to me can le
everything begins with the word trust
but like i say just now you now only think of not turning back
and wanting me to give up and forget you don't you think you're selfish?
giving up is your choice not mine.
I will still hold onto this relationship because i believe i can do it.
even if you tell your friends you don't love me le
its okay. you yourself know whether you love me anot.
Remember i asked you a question
what if one day you break with me how?
you said : than you must not let me break loh must keep giving in
i said : i said don't want at first
cos to make him but in the end i said okay
and i told him when i say break you also must give in okay
you said : okay with a smile
sigh... zzZ
everywhere i go make me remind of you.
When i exit from the mrt station i saw the bumper car
and it reminds me of what you told me.
you said you wanna play and ask me to be careful cos you & dayuan
will keep banging me but till now we haven play lol.
whenever i walk to iluma arcade
i will remember those happy times when we play the street fighter game
sometime you win sometimes i win.
every time you win other people i will kiss you on your cheek.
we also played the mario car game
and i always end up the last one cos you and dayuan always win.
I miss holding you at your arms.
You seem to change alot now i dunno why
if you have the thinking of not turning back what more after June holidays?
sigh im just afraid of everything :(
Every time when i receive a message i will hurry hurry open it &
was hoping it will be you but every time it turn out to be other people
sigh i really wanna put up a strong face in front of you
and showing you that i have already given up but i cant
why is it so hard?
i dunno what else i can do already.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Listen
(Beyonce)
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....
[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...
[Chorus]
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....
LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...
SHEELA (: 7:02 PM
.Saturday, May 23, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
was chatting on the phone with yuanlin
than she encourage me to message him
cos i like very scared to msg him
but feel like talking to him lol
so i sms him saying "hello(:"
he replied "yes"
lol i reply "lol no la bored"
and he never reply le
i think because he dunno what to reply
sigh nevermind at least he reply one.
happy enough
when will i recieve your messages again? :(
than she encourage me to message him
cos i like very scared to msg him
but feel like talking to him lol
so i sms him saying "hello(:"
he replied "yes"
lol i reply "lol no la bored"
and he never reply le
i think because he dunno what to reply
sigh nevermind at least he reply one.
happy enough
when will i recieve your messages again? :(
SHEELA (: 10:20 PM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Second day
I need you
Today meet up with nathalie at bk mrt
than walked to mcnair to play with pumpkin
cos i really miss him :(
I was praying really hard hoping that he was still sleeping
but he was actually sitting at the sofa.
My tears was about to come out and i told myself i have to control
because i wanna act in front of him that i don't love him anymore
and i have already given up when i still do love him alot :(
its really very hard.
whole day i have been listening to a song called
wo hai neng ai shei :(
sigh. after playing with pumpkin took bus to bugis
to look for job with nathalie. walked around
and saw many paper saying
full time & 18 and above. lol our face totally shagggggg
was kind of lazy to look and headed to iluma
and he was at there with dayuan & yuanlin.
saw him my heart started to ache.
sigh went to play my favorite arcade game
some kind of street fighter game
than was playing half way suddenly a challenger came
and it was him :(
cos i peeped from the side
make me remember the happy times when we play in the past
we laugh together and whenever you win other people
i will give you a kiss on your cheek :(
sigh after playing me & nathalie went to the arcade smoking
area to have some fresh air
while dayuan they all went to eat nearby.
I didn't wanna go its because i feel that he will feel irritated
he look so no mood and i think its because i was there
sigh sorry didnt mean to spoil your mood.
After they eat meet up with dayuan they all
because nathalie got to go so yuanlin acc me
thanks girl.
soon desmond, chewyen,ian & ruijia
join us because they went to watch a show just now
than suddenly i feel very sad
everyone is like couple.
Dayuan&Yuanlin
Desmond&Chewyen
Ian&Ruijia
Me & No one
He & No one.
sigh at that time i really miss holding him
like i used to and i really have the urge to hug him
but i couldn't. i was feeling very sour.
sigh after playing arcade for awhile than the boys went outside to smoke
and there was this guy who keep looking at dayuan
than dayuan went to ask him see what see
and all than he also argued with that guy.
i was worry that the guy really box his face cos he said
"ni da wo luh"
i was like abit scared & it was my first time seeing him that way.
than i pulled his arm from behind
than slowly nothing already so i let go :(
then we went to the arcade to play game again
than i suddenly have this feeling like im quarreling with him but actually
we are over already than i had the feeling to like give in to him
but we wasn't quarreling but we are totally over
please sheela wake up.
sigh how i wish he could come back to me
will he?
he told all his & my friends that he totally dont like me anymore :(
when my friends told me my heart ached.
hais went to fushion after that played pool with yuanlin
than went to village to walk around and i was looking at him the whole time
cos i know after today i wont be able to see him anymore
june holidays are coming i really dunno how.
i wont be able to see him & i will be working on monday already
he already have no feelings for me
what more after june holiday?
more worse. i really feel like talking to him
and slowly pei yang everything but will he even reply my messages?
sigh i really dunno i only know i need him by my side now :(
but he dont need me already.
Today when i reach home i was thinking why my friend
take so long to reply my message than i relise that i send to the wrong person
i send it to my friend something like i only miss and love him
the him refers to chanjiaxing
than my mind was like shit.
I dont wanna let him know that i still love him alot
than i send wrong.my plan failed.
sigh i really hope to have you back by me.
I love you.
thanks girls who tag me on my tag board
thanks for all of your concern (:
Today meet up with nathalie at bk mrtthan walked to mcnair to play with pumpkin
cos i really miss him :(
I was praying really hard hoping that he was still sleeping
but he was actually sitting at the sofa.
My tears was about to come out and i told myself i have to control
because i wanna act in front of him that i don't love him anymore
and i have already given up when i still do love him alot :(
its really very hard.
whole day i have been listening to a song called
wo hai neng ai shei :(
sigh. after playing with pumpkin took bus to bugis
to look for job with nathalie. walked around
and saw many paper saying
full time & 18 and above. lol our face totally shagggggg
was kind of lazy to look and headed to iluma
and he was at there with dayuan & yuanlin.
saw him my heart started to ache.
sigh went to play my favorite arcade game
some kind of street fighter game
than was playing half way suddenly a challenger came
and it was him :(
cos i peeped from the side
make me remember the happy times when we play in the past
we laugh together and whenever you win other people
i will give you a kiss on your cheek :(
sigh after playing me & nathalie went to the arcade smoking
area to have some fresh air
while dayuan they all went to eat nearby.
I didn't wanna go its because i feel that he will feel irritated
he look so no mood and i think its because i was there
sigh sorry didnt mean to spoil your mood.
After they eat meet up with dayuan they all
because nathalie got to go so yuanlin acc me
thanks girl.
soon desmond, chewyen,ian & ruijia
join us because they went to watch a show just now
than suddenly i feel very sad
everyone is like couple.
Dayuan&Yuanlin
Desmond&Chewyen
Ian&Ruijia
Me & No one
He & No one.
sigh at that time i really miss holding him
like i used to and i really have the urge to hug him
but i couldn't. i was feeling very sour.
sigh after playing arcade for awhile than the boys went outside to smoke
and there was this guy who keep looking at dayuan
than dayuan went to ask him see what see
and all than he also argued with that guy.
i was worry that the guy really box his face cos he said
"ni da wo luh"
i was like abit scared & it was my first time seeing him that way.
than i pulled his arm from behind
than slowly nothing already so i let go :(
then we went to the arcade to play game again
than i suddenly have this feeling like im quarreling with him but actually
we are over already than i had the feeling to like give in to him
but we wasn't quarreling but we are totally over
please sheela wake up.
sigh how i wish he could come back to me
will he?
he told all his & my friends that he totally dont like me anymore :(
when my friends told me my heart ached.
hais went to fushion after that played pool with yuanlin
than went to village to walk around and i was looking at him the whole time
cos i know after today i wont be able to see him anymore
june holidays are coming i really dunno how.
i wont be able to see him & i will be working on monday already
he already have no feelings for me
what more after june holiday?
more worse. i really feel like talking to him
and slowly pei yang everything but will he even reply my messages?
sigh i really dunno i only know i need him by my side now :(
but he dont need me already.
Today when i reach home i was thinking why my friend
take so long to reply my message than i relise that i send to the wrong person
i send it to my friend something like i only miss and love him
the him refers to chanjiaxing
than my mind was like shit.
I dont wanna let him know that i still love him alot
than i send wrong.my plan failed.
sigh i really hope to have you back by me.
I love you.
thanks girls who tag me on my tag board
thanks for all of your concern (:
SHEELA (: 8:30 PM
'
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
Heartache
Good Morning :(
I am feeling a sharp pain my in heart right now
Every morning I wake up and suddenly i got those feeling
that i lose someone
and its true that i lose someone already
a guy whom i really trust & love but disappointed me
everyday when my friends ask me what happen
i told them & half way i will start tearing
and after that i was fine
than at night when i am alone lying on
my bed and couldnt get to sleep i will start thinking again
and i will cry to sleep
i am only together with you only a month plus
why is everything so painful?
what spell did you cast on me?
how did you make me love you so much?
and just let me go just like this.
sigh i still cant get over it.
I know you are happy msging your AH YA now
and dunno who else just to play around?
put yourself in my shoes and think
how will you feel? Jealous? thats of cos.
thats what im feeling now.
and im someone who is sensitive.
you took away the trust i have for you
you smash away all the confident i have for myself
what else do you wanna take away?
"I just broke up with you, msg other girl for what"
this is what you send me when i asked you will you msg other girl.
LIES EVERYTHING IS A LIE!
Good Morning :(
I am feeling a sharp pain my in heart right now
Every morning I wake up and suddenly i got those feeling
that i lose someone
and its true that i lose someone already
a guy whom i really trust & love but disappointed me
everyday when my friends ask me what happen
i told them & half way i will start tearing
and after that i was fine
than at night when i am alone lying on
my bed and couldnt get to sleep i will start thinking again
and i will cry to sleep
i am only together with you only a month plus
why is everything so painful?
what spell did you cast on me?
how did you make me love you so much?
and just let me go just like this.
sigh i still cant get over it.
I know you are happy msging your AH YA now
and dunno who else just to play around?
put yourself in my shoes and think
how will you feel? Jealous? thats of cos.
thats what im feeling now.
and im someone who is sensitive.
you took away the trust i have for you
you smash away all the confident i have for myself
what else do you wanna take away?
"I just broke up with you, msg other girl for what"
this is what you send me when i asked you will you msg other girl.
LIES EVERYTHING IS A LIE!
SHEELA (: 9:15 AM
.Friday, May 22, 2009 '
♥
Rhythm Of
Life
G-A-M-E-O-V-E-R
Its over between us. 21MAY2008 -7.35PM
45 DAYS
You waited for me two years
730 DAYS
Finally I've accepted you on
070409 TUESDAY
( on your birthday a very special day )
cos i hated you alot when you were waiting for me
during those days in 2007-2008.
All my friends ask me to try out with you
cos they say you really love me alot
and treat me really very good
and i also felt that way (:
you give in to me when i throw temper at you
and tolerate all my nonsense but at that time i was attached.
You went in to hostel last year
I wasn't able to contact you and we lost contact for months
one day i saw you online and chatted with you
and you were still the same old you
very nice to me (:
I was happy that i have a guy who always
by my side when im really sad.
I rejected you countless time
but you didn't give up & i was touched
This year around Feb i had problem with my previous bf
and i couldn't take his temper and broke off with him.
You were there for me and you treat me really good
still the same old you i was happy to have you with me
and we got together with you on 7April which is your birthday
A very special day (:
Beginning you treat me really good
give in to me when i am angry with you but slowly things changed
your attitude change. Everything change.
Firstly you tried to quit smoking for me but only for 2 weeks
and you continued smoking i didn't say anything about it
and i really hate people who smoke.
It stinks!
but still i let you smoke.
Secondly you told me to let you go pub
and you will treat me better and i agreed in it
but i don't like my boyfriend to go pub unless he is with me
but still i let you go pub with your friends
Thirdly you requested that you wanna go club
and i didn't agree in it but on the day
when i quarrel with you
you sneak into the club and didn't tell me at all
untill the day when i went to find pumpkin
than you told me the truth.
I was speechless at that time and was upset.
but still i forgave you.
You said i tied you
but think carefully you were so selfish with your actions
you always accompany your friends
and i will always follow you because i wanted to be with you.
You didn't even ask me out for once but its only the 2 of us.
beginning i complained a little bit than i stopped
and didn't even brief a word to you.
slowly you change to someone who i dunno
you seldom give in to me like you always do
you only have your friends in mind
and its my turn that i have to give in to you always
even when its not my fault
I felt tired and unloved
but still i pulled myself up and continue in the r/s
cos i love you.
As days passes we quarreled more and more
and its all because of your selfish actions
you never think for me at all.
i control you is because i care for you
but you don't know how to appreciated the care i have for you.
sigh one day you told me you need sometime
& i immediately called you
you told me you don't love me anymore
my heart cracked into pieces
i cried on the phone and didn't want a break up
but still you insist and i agreed
no point holding you when you don't love me
i only know i really tried my very best in this r/s
sigh you told me you wont MSG other girls
but in the end you did and not one but many
and you are enjoying flirting out there
of cos you are happy with your life now
when I'm suffering here.
you're really selfish.
but i dunno how to get over you
its too sudden & i still do love you & miss you.
but i will get over you very soon
even if i cant i also will force myself
cos its hurting me badly
every min us every second i will feel like messaging you
but i have to control myself and keep myself busy
i need a hug a big big hug badly
(i hope the person was you but it wont happen)
i wanna cry everything out and go to east coast
to shout everything out loudly sigh
thanks auntie,uncle,ah bah & komi for your concern (:
i will go back and visit you all, pumpkin & chantel de
I may look strong outside but inside me im weak
loves.
to be continued...
SHEELA (: 8:38 PM
